Monday, July 27, 2015

I got the results of my CA125 today; it's 6.

I wish that good news would make me feel better, but instead it just makes me more anxious.  After I got that call I had to take some medication for anxiety.

I know I talked about this before.  Good news should be good news, not a reason to be filled with dread.  But that's how I feel.  When will it recur?  What will I do when it does?

I scour the internet for articles that will give me information about recurrence.  Of course, none of them really go one way or the other.  How can they?  We're talking about cancer.  The only predictable thing about cancer is its lack of predictability.

So, my CA125 went from 9 to 6.  Not a big reduction, but still in the right direction.  I'm so lucky to have family that understands.

I think it's time for ice cream from my two favorite therapists: Ben and Jerry.

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Friday, July 10, 2015

I haven't posted for a while as things have been status quo.  My laptop was on the fritz for a few days too, but now that I have a new hard drive, it's as good as new.  Many thanks to James Terry, Senior Advisor at Apple, for helping me get my MacBook Pro back to good as new.

I'm still trying to decide what to do about the therapist I have been seeing.  She's a nice person, but she really isn't helping me when it comes to working on my issues.  For example, when I told her about having trouble getting my mind off my health issues and worrying about cancer recurring, her suggestion was for me to buy some adult coloring books (not that kind of adult) or signing up for free classes from a university.

Well, OK, that would temporarily take my mind off my issues, but it won't help me learn how to cope better.  I actually did try to take a free course from a university regarding people who have been incarcerated for crimes they didn't commit.  I dropped it because the workload was as heavy as if I were taking it for credits.  I'm going to give the coloring books a try, but what I really want is to learn coping techniques.

I'll continue to try this out for another couple weeks, but I may just stop the therapy.  It's so frustrating to not be able to find a therapist that accepts Medicare/new patients.

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